improve your confidence

Improve Your Confidence: The Risks of Changing Who You Are To Fit In

Improve Your Confidence: The Risks of Changing Who You Are To Fit In

“Be yourself because everyone else is taken” Oscar Wilde

However, what happens when improving your confidence is not as simple as it seems? It may sometimes feel easier, comfortable and safer to be anyone else but yourself?

Changing who you are can mean many different things to different people within their personal or professional lives. For example, fitting in, pleasing people, feeling accepted, or needing to fulfil responsibilities and expectations can all impact which parts of yourself you show to the world.

Keeping an open mindset, and being open to growth and development is important, but it should not mean you need to change who you are to fit in.

The risks of changing yourself to fit in

When you feel you need to change, hide or bury who you truly are then you’ll often experience different warning signs from within. For example, you might feel unfulfilled, burnt-out, overwhelmed, stressed, upset, angry, stuck or frustrated. Alternatively, you may find yourself comparing yourself to others or overcompensating because you don’t feel good enough. These frustrations will then leak into the other areas of your life and career and can prevent you from fulfilling and unlocking your true potential

If you feel you can’t be yourself then you might self-sabotage your own happiness. For example, you might apply, accept or stay within a position or within a work culture which has very different values to your own. Alternatively, you might apply for a position which allows you to hide behind a stereotype, a role or a a safe job. Or you might comply with peer pressure or company pressure to fulfil certain responsibilities and expectations. You may even hate feeling exposed and so you might hide within the size or culture of a team or company.  You might also hold yourself back by not applying for career promotions, new opportunities, comparing yourself to others, or you could stop yourself from speaking up, being heard or making changes.

Within your personal life, you might experience relationships where you cannot be yourself or you’ve had to compromise your own needs, beliefs, feelings, sexuality, gender, cultural beliefs, ethnicity or religion for fear of rejection, loss or failure.

These experiences show how changes, roles, relationships and different environments can trigger insecurities about whether or not you feel confident, safe and comfortable showing up as yourself.

Next Steps

If you feel fearful of rejection or judgment and you need a boost of confidence to establish and feel proud of your personal or professional identity or leadership identity / role model identity then why not connect with me and find out how to embrace change and transformation whilst embracing who you are.