improve your confidence

Improve Your Confidence: The Risks of Changing Who You Are To Fit In

Improve Your Confidence: The Risks of Changing Who You Are To Fit In

Oscar Wilde once said: “Be yourself because everyone else is taken”

However, what happens when improving your confidence is not as simple as it seems? It may sometimes feel easier, comfortable and safer to be anyone else but yourself?

Changing who you are can mean many different things to different people within their personal or professional lives. For example, feeling accepted and meeting expectations can influence which parts of yourself you choose to show within different situations.

Being open to growth and development is important. However, it should not mean you need to change who you are just to fit in.

The risks of changing yourself to fit in

When you feel the pressure to change, hide or bury who you are then you might experience a number of warning signs. For example, you might feel unfulfilled, burnt-out, overwhelmed, stressed, upset, angry, stuck or frustrated. Alternatively, you may find yourself comparing yourself to others or overcompensating because you don’t feel good enough. If ignored these warning signs will often leak into the other areas of your life and career. As a result they can prevent you from unlocking and realising your true potential.

If you lack the confidence to be yourself, then you might sabotage your own happiness. For example, you might apply or stay within a career, role or work culture which clashes with your own values. Alternatively, you might apply for a position which allows you to stay safe or to hide behind a stereotype. Or you might comply with company or peer pressure to change yourself in order to fulfil expectations. You might hate feeling exposed and so you might hide within the culture or size of a team or company.  You might also hold yourself back by not speaking up, not applying for career promotions, not taking new opportunities or making changes and comparing yourself to others.

Within your personal life, you might experience relationships where you cannot be yourself or you’ve had to compromise your own needs, beliefs, feelings, sexuality, gender, cultural beliefs, ethnicity or religion for fear of rejection, judgment, loss or failure.

These experiences show how different relationships, situations and environments can trigger insecurities about whether or not you feel confident and safe showing up as yourself.

Next Steps

If you feel fearful of rejection or judgment and you need a boost of confidence to establish and feel proud of your personal or professional identity or leadership identity then why not connect with me and find out how to embrace change and transformation whilst embracing who you are.